Wednesday, January 15, 2014

NAIJA SINGLE GIRL: My First Unoffical Heartbreak

The memories are still fresh.
I was in JSS2 back then.
On my way back from an errand with my big cousin, I walked past a junction. You know one significant thing in busy junctions apart from the numerous buses, kiosks , barber shops, saloons etc is the defeaning music.
That was the first time I heard his voice.
''..oh baby I need you, would you marry me marry me'' Yup! It was the voice of Marc Anthony from the barber shop stereo.
The most soothing and sweetest voice I have ever heard.
I instantly fell in love with the person behind that voice.

This my life of wanting those I cannot have didn't start today. *subs*
''Please what is his name, which country is he from, what is the name of this song?''
I was throwing these questions at my cousin simultaneously.
Remember, google, wikipedia and the likes were still in the future.
A week after, I had starved during lunch just to save all my snacks money to buy those N90 lyrics and blues book so I could have Marc Anthony's lyrics of 'I need you' by heart.
I was obsessed with Marc and his lyrics to the extent that half of my life revolved around his song.
For instance, on my way to fetch water, five times of singing 'I need you' took me to and fro. School assembly lasted for 13 'I need you', morning devotion in the dormitory lasted for 7 'I need you' etc.
I was crazy about Marc, his gentle looks and his voice above all.
Meanwhile, the only image I had of Marc Anthony was the picture of him among other artistes on the cover of my cheap lyrics book. I lived in the school dormitory miles away from home and as such, I had no access to TV and limited access to radio.
I was studying mathematics one evening and I couldn't seem to get it right no matter how hard I tried. To relief the stress, I made one of my biggest mistake.
I wrote the whole 'I need you' song in the middle page.
The next day during mathematics class, I think the devil got into my maths teacher and commanded him to ask for my exercise book to verify something. He was always doing that because my books were neat and I had the finest handwriting in class. I was also the tiniest and the youngest.
I handed him my book forgetting that 'I need you' lyrics were still there.
May I add my maths teacher was a 6ft4 tall man. I have never seen him smile or laugh. He had this ''don't mess with me'' tribal marks across his face. I would love to say he was as wicked as other maths teachers around the universe but wickedness is too mild a term.
The antichrist was my maths teacher.
The first time he flogged me, I remembered my purpose in life my force. Something I had forgotten since the first day I suckled on my mother's breast.
I handed him the book and he was like
''Size1, COME BACK HERE! SO MY MATHS BOOK IS WHERE YOU WROTE A LOVE LETTER TO A BOY! AS TINY As YOU ARE YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND! NO WONDER YOU DONT KNOW MATHS''
I tried to explain that those were just song lyrics especially with the first line which says
'From the day that I met you girl'
He turned it all on me saying a guy wrote the letter to me.
He sent the class prefect to get him the biggest cane in school.
'If that's a song, sing it for the whole class'' he was teasing me.
By then, my cane had arrived.
I stood like this in front of the class.
I was already crying, trying to sing for the class at the same time.
God knows I was forcing all of me to be strong for Marc Anthony but It was darn too late.
The whole class was laughing.
The Antichrist lifted all of my 32kg by the shoulder pad of my cloth and flogged me like it was my daddy that carved those tribal marks on his face. I can swear his tribal marks shone while he flogged me.
He flogged me horizontally, vertically, diagonally, you name it!
I may not have caught a grenade for my man but I took over 40 strokes of the cane for him at my tender age.
Have you ever seen a love so pure? So real?
By the time the beating were over, I needed a wheel chair to wheel me back to my seat.
Wicked man!!!
When school was over, my cousin suggested we sneaked to the barber's shop to see a real video of Marc Anthony, all in a bid to cheer me up.
The barber slotted in the VCD. The first music video that came up of Marc Anthony showed him running and crying over a half naked girl. The pain lasted for three minutes, forty two seconds. My celebrity crush was chilling in hollywood with naked girls while I was busy collecting cane for him in a Nigerian bush school.
I started crying again while my cousin looked at me with pity.
"As small as you are a love song is making you emotional” that was the barber mocking me.
He didn't know the genesis of the pain.
Whenever I think of this incident, I can't help but wonder if other teens out there are as naive as I was.



 Naija single girl's blog

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