Thursday, January 31, 2013

OFILI:How To Stalk People Without Freaking Them Out…Too Much

You send an email, but you get no response. You make a phone call but still you get no response. So you get up and drive to his office. But he is still not there. At least that’s what the Secretary says, but you follow him on facebook, twitter, instagram, pinterest and even his abandoned hi5 account. So you know obviously that his secretary must be bull-shittinglying, because his last update said “still at the office…work sucks.”

So you ignore the secretary and wait it out at the reception. Fortunately your stalking is efforts are not in vain, as your target emerges from his office…but he is surrounded by a sea of tall people. Fortunately, you know his stance on the Mechanical Fusion of Nano-technology with Garriand you have read his research paper The Future of Nano-Garri  more than a million times. So you yell NANOTECHNOLOGY GARRI IS THE FUTURE! Everyone, freezes and stares at you…momentarily opening up the pathway to your target, you run up to him before anyone can say “Garri” and extend your hand… simultaneously delivering your elevator speech…quick and straight to the point.
Although there is no elevator in sight, you know that your speech has worked. You end up talking about Nano-garri for the next few minutes and he even invites you over to drink garri at his mansion in garri banana island.
You have just executed the art of stalking a person without freaking them out…too much…
The same art practiced by all the greats from Pat Utomi to Robert Kiyosaki…greats that have met even greater people because of persistent, well planned, well researched and well executed and sometimes controversial stalking.
Have you stalked someone today?
WARNING: This advice is not to be used for stalking girls…as stalking girls will get you arrested or beat up by their boyfriends or police.


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